I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
