I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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