These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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