He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
