So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize