Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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