There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer