I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this