handjob tips. give me some.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am