You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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