i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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