I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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