my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"