Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

I want your puppy

(507): View more from Minnesota

I meant pussy

(612): View more from Minnesota

I would rather you take my puppy

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(507): I want your puppy (507): I meant pussy (612): I would rather you take my puppy http://tfl.nu/alg5

Replies (34) Good night (1361) Bad night (5178)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?

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(609): why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album? http://tfl.nu/4xxo

Replies (28) Good night (914) Bad night (3579)
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(317): View more from Indiana

question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?

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(317): question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay? http://tfl.nu/r2f8

Replies (63) Good night (3231) Bad night (649)
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(650): View more from California

I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.

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(650): I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world. http://tfl.nu/egr4

Replies (31) Good night (6193) Bad night (2059)
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(972): View more from Texas

Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose

(214): View more from Texas

962=my?

(972): View more from Texas

Yeah.i

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(972): Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose (214): 962=my? (972): Yeah.i http://tfl.nu/5itb

Replies (12) Good night (2786) Bad night (833)
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(805): View more from California

I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"

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(805): I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!" http://tfl.nu/ih8w

Replies (24) Good night (4153) Bad night (718)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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(519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3

Replies (21) Good night (5665) Bad night (1122)
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(347): View more from New York

How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"

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(347): How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka" http://tfl.nu/7oja

Replies (6) Good night (5106) Bad night (844)
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(925): View more from California

She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.

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(925): She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about. http://tfl.nu/434y

Replies (3) Good night (2779) Bad night (1020)
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(540): View more from Virginia

I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.

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(540): I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that. http://tfl.nu/0566

Replies (10) Good night (1632) Bad night (646)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.

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(781): i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens. http://tfl.nu/yex4

Replies (6) Good night (1302) Bad night (527)
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(256): View more from Alabama

It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'

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(256): It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!' http://tfl.nu/6btj

Replies (6) Good night (1318) Bad night (313)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Again, totally unrelated

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(902): On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel (902): Again, totally unrelated http://tfl.nu/6fey

Replies (4) Good night (514) Bad night (307)
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(904): View more from Florida

He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.

(904): View more from Florida

Which I appreciated.

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(904): He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me. (904): Which I appreciated. http://tfl.nu/2yf2

Replies (1) Good night (526) Bad night (244)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.

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(908): In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema. http://tfl.nu/b0rd

Replies (2) Good night (369) Bad night (555)

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