Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?

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  (305): If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette? http://tfl.nu/wdb5
  Replies (50) Good night (1307) Bad night (2896)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid

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  (832): and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid http://tfl.nu/8ij1
  Replies (44) Good night (916) Bad night (3536)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.

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  (570): I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it. http://tfl.nu/aapx
  Replies (26) Good night (3683) Bad night (1050)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds

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  (412): I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds http://tfl.nu/2vvx
  Replies (32) Good night (1735) Bad night (15683)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car

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  (803): just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car http://tfl.nu/l192
  Replies (191) Good night (16359) Bad night (2560)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?

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  (231): OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ma89
  Replies (80) Good night (2485) Bad night (15607)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer

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  (815): i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer http://tfl.nu/m7hl
  Replies (12) Good night (6289) Bad night (1425)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.

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  (510): Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on. http://tfl.nu/jv7t
  Replies (6) Good night (4693) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (779): View more from Illinois

  We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..

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  (779): We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time.. http://tfl.nu/hdfa
  Replies (2) Good night (2326) Bad night (1006)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

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  (646): I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies... http://tfl.nu/y6hf
  Replies (8) Good night (1991) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together

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  (816): First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman. (540): Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together http://tfl.nu/87tf
  Replies (3) Good night (1088) Bad night (499)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.

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  (215): tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts. http://tfl.nu/39iy
  Replies (5) Good night (1344) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children

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  (804): Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children http://tfl.nu/bp23
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least

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  (312): woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least http://tfl.nu/d3yx
  Replies (1) Good night (616) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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  (813): Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg http://tfl.nu/yllz
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (205)

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