He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
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I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
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Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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