We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
