he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
