i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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