Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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