Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
