According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
