you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
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Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
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YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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