No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
