I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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