I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
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someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
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My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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