I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
my being single is dangerous.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
