Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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