after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
