We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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