i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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