that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
