Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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