a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
