You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
