I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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