I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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