Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
