i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
her vagine was all disorganized.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
