Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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