So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
