just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need water and some morals
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