Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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