upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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