I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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