i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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