What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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