i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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