What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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