I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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