She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
