Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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