lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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