That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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