Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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