I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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