Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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