how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
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I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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