my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize