my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Randomize
